Category: the Rant Board
Damn it! This is the 5th time I've tryed and I still can't throw up! Thoes pro mia message boards make it sound so easy! But I can't! I just gag! None of thoes damn diets work! I mean, all my friends tell me I am not fat, that I'm normal. Perfect. I feel like such a cow!!!!!! I'm not close to perfect! I mean, when I feel the side of my body. I can feel my ribs. But I feel like such a cow! I'm a fuckin' fat cow! I work at all the time so why! Damn it.......
Heather, please don't do that... you'll hurt yourself... I just studied about anorexia and boleemia in health this semester... people die from it. I am kinda depressed about this too.. I'm five four and 106 but with my bodybuild I feel like i have extra.. if I didn' have extra id be 95 or 100... but I'm doing situps and eating right and... well I've been boarderline anorexia almost a few times... but when I learned about in health it scared the crap outa me... and I wouldn't wanna do it... it's like slow suicide and if you were one of the people that dies... your loved ones would be so sad... and Heather if you need to talk to me girl I am so here.. well maybe i wont be online but email me, pm me, comment on my xanga... I'm praying for you I know how you feel. Hugs girl.
pleease go and get professional help! you crying out for help here is the first step in making you see you have a problem! (trust me, my sister had anorexia for years; I know what I'm talking about, and it makes me upset to see this happening) pleeease ask if there are any "eating disorder" clinic in your country and please go! likewise if you need to talk, hit me up?! :)
I've studied anorexia and bulimia for months in psychology, and I do know, that the sufferer would do anything rather than advertise the fact that they are deliberately starving themselves...Due to an alteration in the brains of anorexic /bulimic people,which shuts off the feeling of hunger, they are able to control the strong urge to eat. Furthermore they will NOT admit to having a problem...and they certainly do NOT shout about their illness from the rooftops ..that is why anorexia/bulimia is very difficult to treat...
Heather I know exactly how you feel and now that I am under pressure I can hardly do it. I hate my body and my weight too but somehow, even though I do a lot of exercise, it does not seem to work. I totally understand how you feel *big hugs*.
I halfway agree with goblin but if this is the real deal than it most definitely is not good.
James
Heather, let's try and lose weight together *smiles*.
Goblin, if she's crying out for help, she knows she's facing a serious problem. stop overlooking something that could potentially be dangerous. Heather, these boards are not the best place for this, go seek proffesional help. find out whether there's a clinic in your area, that's where my sister went in the end. yes Goblin, it does take a while to admit, but at least she did.
I agree, Rdfreak. And I can really imagine how you feel, Heather.
A true anorexic /bulimic would never shout about their problem, as the 1 thing they dread above eveything else, is being discovered ..as they are well aware of the consequences.Hospital, Doctors, Food and a total loss of control over their lives,the starvation regime is a way in which trhey regain some control over their lives. ...I studied these disorders for almost 6 weeks and I know categorically, I 'd also be willing to bet, that this is yet another cry for attention...One wonders whats next if people insist on coming on here with an illness they really should do some in depth research, into the phyisological and psycholoical affects of their chosen ailment, to avoid coming across as a charlatan...If your woman knew anything about the effects of these disorders she would not be here yelling about it...these disorders by their very nature make the sufferer devious dishonest and extremely secretive...the last thing a real anorexic/bulimic would do is admit to having the illness..as they dread the outcome..they would rather starve to death than say I need help!.
Fuck you, Goblin! And yes, anorexics do end up asking for help, just usually down the road. So what if she's doing it early - she can get better help that way! God, Goblin, you are so fucking insensitive! You probably don't even care if Heather is hurting; you jut want to run your fucking mouth! Well, whut the fuck up!!!
gobin, "A true anorexic /bulimic would never shout about their problem"
exactly. thats why I'm not. I'm not ana or mia, i have just thought a lot about it and have tryed it. I just know, and can admit, this could turn into something bigger. a real problem.
and gobin, I made this post for support from my friends. so I am asking you kindly, not to post anything more in this topic.
and btw, I'm really happy cause I only had 130 calories today. big smiles.
heather, the reality is, that the less you eat, the less likely you are to lose weight. people that eat as little as possible invariably don't lose weight because the body will store up everything it gets because it doesn't know where its next meal is coming from. you say that your friends all say that you're not fat, so why is it that you think you are? if I may ask, and by all means you can choose not to answer publically and can pm me if you want, or can just choose not to answer, but how tall are you and how much do you weigh?
Throwing up is not the answer either, you can do yourself some permanent damage by starving yourself or by throwing up. perforated gullet, wrotten teeth, potential infertility, believe me the results are not pretty, and anorexics are everything but thin beauties, often they look totally gaunt, very pale because they are mal nurished, have no energy - you are worth so so much more than that, smiles.
I agree. Don't eat too less, better eat healthy. I am trying to start that. And, you are doing so much sports. I am sure something will happen if you do that. and if not ... I love you the way you are!! *big hugs*.
awwwa thanks Ines. and clair, I will PM you
hmm, I agree; I have a friend, lets say, unbelievable he is 16 and is about 220 pounds... I eat twice the amount that he eats, provably three times, and I am going down to 128. But I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, and also drink a lot of water too. The problem is that he is not as active and also he is eating a lot of fast food, so what you eat depends a bit on how you grow... well, or on how your body reacts. Water helps also to stop eating or eat less but it ain't that good.... so well hope this bit helps.
goblin, she feels safe here cos no-one knows her well enough to get assistence for her. for heavin's sakes. I had a sister with it. I think I know a bit more about it than you. sorry but that's true. .. there's no such thing is "a true anorexic" that's ridiculous!
Heather, it's not something to brag about, losing weight. don't do it. don't think it, you could wound up in all sorts of trouble!
I can feel you heather. Look, I don't really know you that well, but I've sort of been through it. I tried gagging and purging, but honestly it's not good. I really think you should look for professional help. I don't want anyone go down that road. Something I found that made me lose weight is to have many small meals a day, take walks, and drink lots of water. I know you might be feeling a bit insecure, alot of girls do. Society forces girls to have this perfect figure. Don't fall into it. I don't worry about my weight anymore. I'm 95 pounds, which is good considering the fact that i'm only 4 10 or 11.Take care and don't do anything you'll regret later ok?
:) LG! am glad you were able to see out of it before it got out of hand! on you!
Heather, listen to SugarBaby, she has got all the facts right. I also know way more about anorexia than I ever wanted to know because my sister has had it for ten years now, and sadly, on this basis, I also realize that most likely nothing Claire has said to you will likely make a lasting impression on you. It seems really messed up to most of us, but if you really are anorexic, it will make you feel proud how much weight you can lose, and the very real dangers, no matter how bad they might be, will pale in comparison to this achievement. I wish I knew just what to say to you to actually make a difference, but believe me, if I knew, I'd run to the phone right now and call my sister to tell *her*, too. Just please, Heather, if you are not yet so far gone that the pride you feel from losing weight is stonger than the fear you feel at hearing the dangers, ask yourself to reconsider this whole project of losing weight. If you can no longer do that, just do this one other thing: Right now, choose a goal weight that you feel right now would be ideal for you. Write it down. Post it above your bed. Laminate it so that you can never change what it says there. Then (and this is in full caps for those of you who use screen readers) STOP WHEN YOU GET THERE. It might sounds silly, but the fact is that most anorexics start with the goal to only lose a few pounds or reach a certain goal weight, and when they do, they are just too impressed with what they can do, and they continue indefinitely. That's why you need to know what where you're going before you start.
Oh, and one other thing I'd like to point out: I agree that Goblin can be extremely insensitive, and indeed is in this case once again. But it is true that most anorexics go to extreme lengths to hide their addiction/illness/obsession (choose your own concept) from everyone except others who have it, too. So factually speaking, he's got a point. I still think he has been a jerk in here, but maybe you guys could give him some credit for what he does know. This is absolutely not intended as a rebuke or a criticism of anyone, just trying appealing to fairness and civilty.
No you did it for attention and sadly its not the 1st time eh..one wonder's what your next ailment will be..I wait with baited breath..
oh goblin leave her alone. if you say she's attention seaking, which quite frankly I don't think she is, but if she is in your opinion, then surely by responding to the topic you are giving her attention, so practice what you preach and ignore it if you don't like it. heather, don't let him get to you, you're worth better than that, and the insults from the likes of him... good luck, smiles
Yeah, Heather, keep your head high. Goblin, yeah, you're giving her what you think she wants, so actually, if you believe so strongly that she is attention hungry, you're actually feeding it and probably making it worse. But anyway, I know she's not attention hungry; not every girl is. I was almost anorexic once... and I almost committed suicide once... and I didn't tell anybody until I scared myself, probably like Heather scared herself when she tried purging, and I decided to talk to my dad. Obviously, this is her way of getting help--support from her friends, and I don't think you're making matters better. So fuck off.
If you were from some poor country where there wasn't a lot of food, then you'd be complaining you didn't get enough. You're spoiled, and I think that all spoiled westerners with the appauling selfish attitude you posess, who don't want food, should be sent to places where there isn't much food and replaced by people who do want food but can't get any. Then you who doesn't want food won't get food, they who do will get food and everybody is hapy. I know most people won't like that solution but that is because they feel sympathy for you and they don't like harsh solutions but I ask them all, why do you sympathise with this person more than you do someone who wants food who can't. Really showing sympathy to someone who refuses food is very sick and disgusting when you consider that for every person who has access to food but doesn't want it there's a lot more who who don't have access to food and want it.
ww if it was purely a selfish thought, then I'm sure heather would not be thinking like this. But the feeling you are ugly, fat and worthless is one which has far deeper roots than that. When you think that you are so ugly that no one wants to look at you, when you look in the mirror and the person that looks back appears to be fat, then the last thing you think about is whether there are starving children in Africa. All you can think about is that *you* must be worthless, that you just want to be acceptable to the world, and often it is impossible to see past the fact that actually, it is only you that thinks you are unacceptable. Often conditions like anorexia are born out of low self esteem, and often, low self esteem is born out of the fact that someone has made you feel that you are a lesser person than you actually are. It's psychological, we often criticise it because we ourselves cannot understand how someone could deliberately starve themselves, or how someone could deliberately make themselves sick in order to lose weight. But after a while it becomes like an addiction, you have done it for so long that you have to keep doing it, in a way it's no different to being addicted to alcohol, or drugs, or gambling.
and yes, we criticise drug addicts, and alcoholics for their behavior, but all too often for those people the adiction is what keeps them going. It's easy to sit there and criticise someone else because they don't conform to our standards or ways of doing things, but we none of us know until we've been there ...
I think goblin and ww should hook up, they're both of the mindset that fh is telling either a lie, or apparently si being selfish. I was the first one who knew about this, and I talked with her. She's scared but doesn't want to go down a road she knows is dangerous. I hope she gets the help either from friens or professionally but she knows I'm here. Huggs cookie.
Hey,
You don't need to be perfect, in fact, none of us are. All you need, and all we all need, is to know and understand that even though we feel fat, and ugly, we're not, because we're people, human beings, not some carved out statue, or picture percet doll that needs to be on display. There are a lot of rail thin beauty queens out there, I know that. But are they truly happy? Probably not. Most of them probably have the same issues we do, some of them probably feel like they're fat and ugly and a fat cow too. Some might be comfortable in their own skin, but the majority of us are not!
Life should never ever be a beauty conttest. No one here is judging you, I've never seen you, but even if I could, I wouldn't judge you because I see what's on the inside of someone, who they are, I don't look at outward appearance. If your a good person, which I'm sure you are, your beautiful in that way, that's all that mattters, at least that's all that should matter.
And I meant porcilin doll on display lol.
But really, Heather, I know how it feels to feel and think those things, and it took a lot for me to see myself for who I am. I know I'm worth it because I do care about myself, and it might take awhile, but in time, you can and will grow to care about yourself too. You'll be ok, and you are worth it! Keep your head up, and just try and think about all your good qualities, and I know you've got some lol. It's hard to see objectively when we feel low or bad about who we are, but we can all do it!
Ok,
Take care, or at least, please try to?
Later
Charis
I agree with Charis. God created you special, and He loves you very much. No matter what others say if they make fun of you, He thinks you are beautiful inside and out. And so do I.
if you think about it, when you get to know someone, if they're really attractive but not a nice person, then after a while, the fact they are really attractive doesn't matter, because you wouldn't want to know them because of the person they are, if a person is not so attractive but a very nice person, then you will get to know them anyway, and will know them for the person they are. anyone who only looks at the outside is shallow and not worth your time anyway.
Amen, SugarBaby.
let me share a story about one such shallow person I encountered once... I was travelling home from school on a buss full of kids from different schools one day, this buss journey took 10 hours, and during the ourse of the journey, I fell asleep. I woke up when one of the girls from another school leaned over me to get her jacket, and I heard her say to her friend, "that girl's blind!" she then said "she's not very pretty, but she does have a nice personality," by this time I was fully awake, but I pretended to be asleep and listened ... and she then went on to say ... "ya know, it's kinda sad, she'll probably never get a husband, because .. well, she's not only got a disability, but she's not very pretty either!" ... kinda sad huh. wonder if she ever got married! lol
I just saw this thread, I don't feel so bad about my self after reading Goblin's posts, if you guys want to talk to Heather about this, the best way to do it would probably be private qn's, rather then putting it all in the open but that's just my two sents.
That's fucked, Claire. People are such jackasses sometimes. When I was little, the popular girls used to really make fun of me. And now, everyone pretty much accepts me for who I am... 'cept now with guys I can't really play with them like I used to when I was little; most of them cept for blindies are afraid to approach me 'cause I'm blind. It hurts, but peopel are jerks.
Hey, Heather, you've been on my heart today, and I remembered something that flashed at me in big letters. I feel like God has put this on my heart to share this with you. It has helped me as well. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27.) That verse alone spoke a million words to me--the main point being that God loves us created us in His image and thinks we are beautiful. I hope that verse helps you too...
I think the key is that you have to accept you for who you are. if you can't do that, then others won't. I am who I am and in my view, anyone who doesn't like me the way I am can get stuffed. I'd rather have a few genuine friends who love me for me, than a load of superficial ones.
Claire I agree. And, Heather, as I already said: Don't eat too much, just do some sports and you'll be fine. Just love yourself,
Yes other people may have persuaded Heather into feeling the way she does, but if she doesn't do anything about them she can't expect them to stop, basically if you don't defend yourself as well as is possible, you'll get trampled on and walked over. That means that if she's been abused about her weight and she's not giving the culprits reason to stop, they're going to continue. The only way to stop them making you suffer is to make them suffer.
Wayne, I totally agree with you.
Hi Heather, I know everyone already said this, but know I'm always here fo you too. I don't pretend to know all about this cuz I don't, but I'm always here to talk, and I studied about this in Health too so, I know enough to be getting on with, I guess. Take care. XOOXOXOXXX, Caitlin
well, I had a problem with this back almost 2 years ago, and I was borderline anarexic, and I asked for help well I should say my teachers saw what was going on and started forcing me to eat and then I realized they were right when one said "if you don't stop this we are going to see you wasting away in a corner" and I finally got help for it and am much better now and I know I have way to much weight on me but at least I am alive.
Oprah once had a lady on her show, who was twenty-seven or so, and only weighed thirty-eight pounds. Every time she saw food, she saw calories and fat, so she just stopped eating. She fought to gain weight, managed to get up to eighty-nine pounds, and then lost her battle with anarexia nervosa a number of years ago. It's one of the most horrible eating disorders I've heard about. If you let yourself get that skinny, you're looking at a life spent in and out of hospitals. Please, don't do it, I beg of you.
Goblin knows what she is talking about.
Wow! Heather, obviously I don't know you on a personal level, nor do I know your whole situation, but how old are you again? Let me take a guess, you're probably in your mid teens, and you must still be in high school, or something like that, because you mentioned you were in sports. Really, if your friends say you're not fat, then don't worry about it. They except you. You shouldn't worry about silly things about your weight. Honestly, enjoy life. You should be worried about your next sports event, why your math teacher had to be a jerk and give all that homework, and who is going to prom with who. I know you said you've only had thoughts about it, and have tried it a few times, but really, just go out, be yourself, and get all the fun out of life you can.
exactly what the last poster said
hey heather. it's priscy. i sometimes felt alittle fat when i weighed myself 2 summers since i weighed about 100 pounds which to me is too much or actually was, but mom said i look very good at that weight. and the good thing, had my periods regular. but this year, i am 93 pounds at 4.11 tall. and haven't had a period in almost 100 days. I went to the doctors and they said i was very low on vitamin D which is pretty bad because your bones can get wee and stuff. fortunately i don't suffer from that horrible disease because i know how bad it is since i knew of a person who suffered from this disease.. this person used to be with me at a summer program in Baltimore and i still talk to her until today. if you want you can PM me heather but i think that you are a very nice person regardless of how you are.
Old board is old. By like three years.
Very old board... the original poster hasn't been online in almost two years
Why the hell do people insist on bringing up such old topics?
I was wondering the same thing.